Incompetent

I have lived my recent time of life in the murkiest fog.  There is the smallest bit of light that is shining through, but I desire sunshine.  I am full of hope, yet fearful. I need to be freed from the constant panic. I cannot allow my past to hurt me anymore. I have to stop letting my trauma dictate the direction in which my life is going.  I need more than anything to be able to take the hit, without even batting an eye. 

 Today my boy turns 2, it is all flying by us swiftly. Currently selling my house that I shared with Jim, and moving on. I have always been one to say that it is crazy what can happen in the matter of just a few years. Everything has changed.  I am relearning every single thing, to be a better human and mommy. I am happy, and scared, and excited.  Most importantly, I am free. I will never go back to the life that I was living, I am no longer that person. I want to feel the wind and sun on my skin, and remember how beautiful it is to actually FEEL.