Incompetent

It has been two weeks since I had my cerclage. I am so happy to say that so far everything is going as well as it can with this procedure being done. I am 20 weeks, 3 days pregnant right now. At this point in my previous pregnancy, I was already in the hospital with preterm labor. I have hit that marker, now I need to get beyond it. My first goal is 28 weeks. At 28 weeks I have a viable baby. I know in normal life, 7 1/2 weeks is not long at all, but it seems like forever in this current life of mine. We have started planning the baby shower for the end of October. My mom, of course, is the host. I am helping her with the planning. We are going to have a fall/pumpkin theme! We have a name for the baby as well, so we can stop calling him "the baby" :) Jack Porter Freels. We wanted a name that starts with J, since Jim and I are both J's. Porter is my maternal grandfather's middle name. We went back and forth over names for a while, a lot of laughing, and some very...

Well, I did it! I got my cerclage placed in yesterday at The Baby Place. Dr. Prieto decided on a Shirodkar Clercage, instead of a McDonald. He feels I will have better results with this specific type of cerclage. We got there at 7AM, and probably only spent 15 minutes in the waiting room filling out paperwork/waiting on the staff to bring me back to the Pre-Op area. Jim was able to be with me the entire time, except in the actual Operating Room. They rolled me into the OR at 9 AM, exactly on time. It was 10 AM when they were rolling me back out to sit with Jim in recovery. I was given a spinal anesthesia, and that stuff is no joke! Pretty much as soon as she injected me with the medicine, I was no longer able to feel my feet. The entire procedure I was in a panic, I was trembling and felt like I was having a hard time breathing. They wouldn't give me any type of anxiety medicines, for fear it would hurt the baby. Instead, they put oxygen to my nose, and gave me a dose of ...

I am pregnant, again. About to be 18 weeks. My cervix is falling short, again. I am scheduled to have a cerclage in two days from now.  I have spent most of my pregnancy not telling anyone, because I am scared to lose this baby. Because I am still so sad for losing my baby a year ago.  When I got checked out this week, they said my cervix was about 1.8 CM in length, which is very poor.  I understand what this means now, where I did not as much a year ago.  It is terrifying.  There is no other way to describe how I feel about this situation.  I know that if I do not have this cerclage, my baby will die. I also know that even with this cerclage being placed, there is still a chance of another loss.  I feel like I am living in a nightmare, a recurring nightmare that I cannot get out of.  I will work all day tomorrow, and then Friday morning when I wake up, Jim will take me to The Baby Place at Bayfront Hospital.  Dr. Prieto wi...