Its been a bit since I spilled my heart to this little blog <3
It has been 6 months since I was in the hospital losing my baby boy.
My due date came and went. I sat at the bar with my best friend in the world, and drank Tito's and soda that day. My preferred method of sedation when I am going through something deep :)
Around the holidays I often thought about how it would have been if my baby was here. I was going to have my first Christmas with my own little family, but that was not part of the master plan, apparently. I try not to think like that, but sometimes you cannot help it. When you are lost in all of your thoughts, its easy to go there.
Someone told me a few months ago that they felt like I had not grieved yet. This statement did not surprise me at all, because of how I just picked up my life where I left off, and started moving forward.  I have grieved my child for months now, but I am also actively trying to keep myself together. I have lost some very close people to me, and in the process of grieving for them, made very poor life choices. I feel like I have lost so many, that each time I learn to accept death, and respect it more.
In any situation in life, I try to always try to see all of the good that I can possibly see. I am just naturally an optimistic person. In such a tragic event in my life, I am able to take away wisdom and strength. I have also learned to care for myself more. I consider myself lucky to be able to see those things, maybe it's my souls way to keep me going in the right path.
Here is my little Luna who head butted me and gave me the black eye a few months ago.
She is not the best selfie taker, but she is sweet as pie!





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